Sober
by xSweetSimplicityx
Summary: Oneshot, CloTi Three months since the day when her world came crashing down. Three months until she finally let her emotions get the best of her. Three months until he finally made it up to her.


**Hey hey! Lucy here! **

**HOLY S#! IT ONLY TOOK ME, WHAT, A **_**YEAR AND A HALF**_** TO FINALLY FINISH THIS?? **

**Wow. Over a year. No joke people. I started writing this a year ago. Its not because its an epic, or like **_**The Odyssey**_** or anything. I just forgot about it so many times. Sorry kids, blame my ADD. That, and school. But for cereal here. A year to write an oneshot? That's sad. Just a oneshot inspired by Kelly Clarkson's "Sober". It was just an idea, so I began typing. **

**Anyhoo, please read, review, and enjoy! P.S.- I kinda didn't proof it…hehehe….**

**Disclaimer: As nice as it sounds, I don't own it.**

* * *

**Sober: -Oneshot, CloTi- Three months since the day when her world came crashing down. Three months until she finally let her emotions get the best of her. Three months until he finally made it up to her. **

* * *

Three months. Three slow, dismal months. Three months since that day, the day when her world came crashing down, affecting everyone around her. She could remember it clearly. His words still echoed in her head. _"I don't know when I'll be back. I just need to go____"_. It was a day she tried to forget. A day she _can't _forget. The children's cries, her silent tears, her screaming, his motorcycle revving away, soon fading away. She couldn't get it out of her head. She was trying to hold it together for Denzel and Marlene. They couldn't deal with it in the first place, and Tifa was the only one supporting them. She had to stay strong for them.

Sighing, Tifa ran her hand through her hair. She glanced at the clock on the wall, reading 10:08 p.m.. The kids were asleep, giving Tifa some peace and quiet. She took a glance at the shelves of alcohol. _You're stronger than that, _she admonished herself.Tifa shook her head. She swore that she wouldn't start drinking. She knew that once she started, she wouldn't stop. Alcohol would _not_ be her escape.

There had been a couple of times where she was on the verge of breaking down. A couple of times when she almost, _almost_, lost it, giving in to her emotions. But she reminded herself that she had a responsibility to stay strong for the kids. She couldn't let the kids see her cry. No matter how many times she wanted too, she couldn't.

"Cloud…"

Her heart ached when she whispered his name. When he came back, she first told herself not to get close; he could change his mind and leave just as quick as he came. She couldn't afford to get hurt. But Tifa thought that he had changed. She believed that he would stay, forgetting the past. But then came that day; that cold, rainy day. Once again the memories of the day flooded through her head.

"_I'm leaving."_

_It wasn't unusual for him to say that. She felt herself sigh inwardly. "Where are you going this time?"_

_Cloud shrugged, leaning against the counter. His eyes didn't meet hers. "Places. I'm not too sure."_

_She frowned. "I see…when will you be coming back?"_

_When he didn't answer, she looked up from checking Denzel's homework. "Cloud?"_

_He took a deep breath. "I…I'm not too sure. Don't count on me being back anytime soon."_

_It took a while for the answer to sink in, but when it did, Tifa could feel her heart stop for a minute. "What?"_

_Once again, he didn't say anything. She stood up. "Why are you…"_

_Suddenly, her world came crashing down. It couldn't be happening. She feared that this would happen someday. She shook her head in disbelief. "No…"_

_Cloud closed his eyes, saying softly, "Tifa…I just….I need…"_

_Tifa shook her head violently. "No!"_

_There was a moment of silence between them. The only sound was the soft fall of the rain outside. Tifa glanced out the window, gazing at the morning rain. "How are you going to tell the kids?" she whispered, breaking the silence._

_She could hear him sigh. "I…I don't know…"_

_Tifa frowned, slamming her fist on the table. "I can't believe you! Just when things were going well, you say that you need to go!"_

_She stood up, anger growing. "Tifa…" Cloud touched her shoulder, but she shrugged away, glaring at him._

"_Don't touch me!"_

_The kids came down the stairs, curious of what was going on. They saw Cloud standing with his coat on, and Tifa looking away, frustrated. _

"_What's going on…?" Marlene asked, looking at Cloud. _

_It didn't take long for Denzel to realize what was happening. He slowly walked to Cloud, looking up at him. "Cloud…?"_

_He looked at Denzel for a brief second. His face was that of hurt and heartbreak. Cloud looked away, sighing. "Denzel…Marlene…I…"_

_Tifa couldn't bear looking at Denzel. His eyes filled with tears. He loved Cloud, and looked up to him as a father. He could barely stand it when Cloud was away for a day or two with deliveries, he would always ask when he was coming home. Now, knowing that he was actually _leaving_, it broke his heart. He was losing the only father figure in his life. Tifa shut her eyes, forcing back the tears that threatened to come._

_Marlene gasped, understanding for the first time. "Cloud, no! Please don't go!" She ran to him, wrapping her small arms around his waist. She buried her face into his side. "Don't go!" _

_Denzel looked down, frowning. "Will you come back?"_

_Marlene let go, looking up at Cloud. He went down on one knee, eye level to the kids. "I need time…" He said, immediately studying their faces. Denzel looked away, while Marlene pouted. Cloud grabbed them, pulling them to his chest. "But I promise," he whispered to them, "I promise that I will see you." He gave them a tight hug, and then stood back up. He looked back at Tifa. She shook her head, biting her lip._

"_Denzel, Marlene…say goodbye." She whispered before turning her head away._

_The both said goodbye quietly, sniffling and wiping the tears from their eyes._

_He clapped Denzel on the shoulder, something the boy had only seen him do to the other men. "Take care, kid."_

"_I'll miss you, Cloud…" Denzel said, turning towards the stairs. Marlene quickly followed behind him._

_Cloud nodded, heading towards the door. Tifa followed him outside, closing the front door behind her. Cloud and Tifa stood outside, the rain getting them both wet. Cloud looked towards his Fenrir. "I don't know when I'll be back. I just need to go…"_

"_I can't believe I actually thought that you changed. I thought that you put the past behind you. But I guess I was wrong."_

_Her words stung. He did put the past behind him, and he was happy, but he needed time to think things through, and Tifa would never understand. _

"_Why can't we be like a family…? Why do you refuse?" Tifa whispered, the rain blending in with her tears. _

"_Tifa…please understand. I need time to think things through. So many things have been rushing through my mind. I…I don't know what to do about it."_

"_Well running away again isn't gonna solve anything, is it?!" She yelled at him, storming towards him._

_Cloud began losing his patience. "Why cant you understand!" _

"_What do I need to understand, Cloud?! It's always the same damn thing with you- you run off, claiming that you need to 'find yourself', that you need to 'think things through'!" Tifa yelled, her frustrated tears rolling down her cheeks. _

"_Do you want to know why I always leave?!" Cloud yelled at her. "It's because you suffocate me, Tifa! Leave me alone for once!" He immediately regretted what he said the second his rage left his lips. Cloud's harsh words echoed in the alley, the pouring rain once again the only sound. The rain soaked them both; it dripped from their hair and clothes. Cloud looked at Tifa, immediately feeling guilty for the words he said when he saw her face. Her tears ran freely down her hurt face, as she looked down. _

"_Is that it?" She said shakily._

_Cloud reached out to her softly. "Tifa, I-"_

"_Just go." Tifa whispered. _

"_Please…"_

"_Go!" she yelled. _

_Cloud brought his hand back, and his face turned stone. He walked toward his Fenrir, starting the engine. He took one last look at Tifa- he was met with a sad glare through her teary chocolate eyes. With one swift motion, he got on, and drove down the alleyway, leaving her behind in the cold rain._

How she wanted to forget it. But it seemed that the more she tried to disregard it, the more it came back through to her head. She looked at the alcohol case, biting her lip.

She sighed heavily, walking over and bringing out a bottle of liquor, pouring it slowly to an empty glass. Tifa stared at the alcohol, wondering if it would cure the emptiness inside.

"_Leave me alone for once!"_

Tifa flinched as the words echoed through her head. She grasped the glass, bringing it to her pink lips. She closed her eyes, feeling the cold drink run own her throat. Opening her eyes, she set her glass down, sniffling as her emotions were trying to get the best of her. Grabbing the bottle, Tifa sat down on a barstool, pouring more into her glass.

She stared at the wall in front of her, unmoving. A tear fell slowly down her soft, pale cheek, before being wiped away tiredly. Tifa once again brought the cold glass to her lips, taking another swig.

Another tear fell down her cheek. She sniffled, once again wiping it away. Every day she was reminded by the harsh parting words Cloud yelled at her. Everyday she tried to fight her emotions away, resulting in emptiness inside. People offered her support, but she turned them down, saying that she was fine. Even they noticed that she was bound to break.

"No I won't." Tifa whispered to herself.

Her mind and her emotions told her otherwise. Tifa tried to control her emotions again, unwelcoming the tears that fell down her cheek. She clenched her fists. "No…"

"_Why can't you understand?!"_

"_You suffocate me, Tifa!"_

Tifa finally lost control of her emotions, screaming as she sent the glass of cold alcohol towards the wall. Her body racked with sobs as glass went flying everywhere, not even flinching when she felt a shard graze her hand. She stared at her bloody hand only half aware of what she was doing. Suddenly, nothing mattered. Cloud was gone, Denzel and Marlene were falling deeper into depression, and Tifa was falling deeper than she'd ever been. She sank to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head. "Why did you leave?" she whispered.

_You pushed him, Tifa._ Tifa shook her head. _It's all your fault._ "Get out of my head!" She screamed.

She looked at the alcohol dripping slowly down the wall, and the glass at the floor. She didn't even bother to clean it up. Instead, Tifa got up and blindly grabbed a bottle-any bottle-that she could get a hold of. Sinking back into sobs with another bottle in hand, she looked down at the deep cut stained with red. _I wonder how long it would take to kill me…_she wondered. _It's not deep enough_.

Because that was all she wanted. To leave the world forever, just like how the only person she loved left hers.

She faintly heard the knock at the door, but didn't bother to answer it. Still sobbing, Tifa brought the bottle to her lips, taking another swig before sending it towards the alcohol-stained wall. _Crash._ She shook her head, tears flowing down her now-red face. Tifa stared at the liquor cabinet, blaming it for the state she was in. She grabbed another bottle, once again bringing it to her salty lips. As the bitter taste ran down her throat, she looked down at the label.

_Chocobo Wine. _It had been a favorite of Cloud's. Through her alcohol-ridden mind, she remembered the time they'd taken Denzel and Marlene to the Chocobo range. It was one of the few times they'd spent together, and they'd made it last. Tifa had nearly collapsed from laughing at the sight of Cloud being dragged unceremoniously by one of the exotic birds.

Now that she remembered it, she cried again. There was no use thinking about him. Cloud was gone. With a sob, she raised the bottle for another throw.

"Tifa."

Gasping, she felt a strong hand envelope her wrist.

"Tifa..." He said again.

She didn't even bother to look up. "Leave me alone."

"No."

"Leave me alone!" she repeated, this time with some irritation.

He waited a few moments before repeating himself, "No."

Angry, she turned the bottle on him, but he grabbed her other wrist as well. "Tifa, listen to me."

His eerie green eyes were expressionless, but his voice was soft and reasonable. He looked at Tifa, somewhat guilty for the state she was in. He looked at her chocolate brown eyes; they were filled with tears, and no longer lively. He could smell the alcohol from her breath, and from the pool of it by the wall. She looked pale, unhealthy, and her hand was still bleeding from the cut.

Guilt stabbed at him; it was his fault she was like this. It had only been a matter of time; surrounded by alcohol, he shouldn't have been surprised at all.

But he was. It was Tifa. _His_ Tifa. His Tifa _never_ gave into anything. His Tifa was strong, completely impervious to any pain.

It was time to face the truth: His Tifa was just as susceptible as any other human, because in the end, that was all she was.

"Tifa," he said her name again. It relieved him to be able to say it. It meant she was still here, as twisted as she was right now.

Pulling her hand into him, he gently rubbed it, coaxing her to let go of the bottle. "Don't do this to yourself," he said softly. "Please don't."

Tifa was hardly aware of him there. His voice was just another thing cluttering her hazy mind. But his touch wasn't. With a jolt, she realized who it was. "You…" she whispered.

He gave a small smile, was only allowed a few seconds of peace before her tirade started anew. "You!" she screamed. "You left us again! We thought you hated us!"

"Tifa, I…"

"Do you realize what impact you have on the children?!" she shouted over him, pulling her hand away. "They look up to you as the father they've never had! Barret tries, but he can't always be there for Marlene! And Denzel…" her voice broke. "Denzel…you don't see him when you're not around."

He closed his eyes. "He's a different person…he spends less time with us. Sometimes, he doesn't come home for days. And whenever he is here…all he can ever ask about is _you_."

Tifa slammed the bottle on the counter. "You don't get how much you mean to us, do you?"

She flung her arm back for another slap. "_Answer me_!"

Once again, he grabbed it. This time, his grip was hard and cold, scaring her even in her drunken state. She gasped as he pulled her in tight, the leather of his coat still cold from the night wind. Then she heard the words she'd wanted so long to hear.

"I'm sorry…oh God, I'm so sorry…"

His strong arms enveloped her, bringing Tifa to his chest. She stood there, tears still falling down her cheeks. Then she quickly crashed her arms around him. "You…you're here…"

Cloud pulled away, lifting her chin up. "I'm here…"

It seemed that Tifa became softer for a moment. But just as quickly, her eyes hardened, and she shook her head. "No…no you're not!" Her hands flew to her head. "I'm dreaming!"

She pushed him away, turning back around. "You can't be back…you said…"

Cloud gently placed a gloved hand on Tifa's shaking shoulder. "I…I didn't mean what I said…I'm sorry…"

Tifa shook her head. "No…you're not sorry…you're not here…"

Cloud wondered if her reactions were caused by her drunken state or her emotional trauma. Either way, he felt terribly guilty for her condition; it was his fault. To see her broken, to see her cry…"Tifa…please listen."

She stood there motionless, unwilling to turn around. "I can't."

Cloud gripped her shoulder, forcing her to turn around; with his other hand, he clasped around her other shoulder, shaking her softly. "Tifa, please!"

Tifa looked up at him with pleading eyes. "I can't, Cloud! I can't anymore!"

The words hurt more than it was supposed to. Had she lost all hope? Was their relationship ruined…_forever_? Has she had enough? Cloud looked down, ashamed. Ashamed of her pain, her words, her condition…but most of all, ashamed of _himself_. It was no use making up excuses, asking her for forgiveness after all he has done to her and the kids. Forgiveness; he knew that was far too much to ask her. He mumbled his last apology. "Tifa…Tifa, please forgive me."

He once again wrapped his arms around her, because that was all he had to offer. Cloud buried his head in her shoulder, holding her for dear life. "If only you knew how much I mean it…"

Tifa sighed, her eyes slowly closing. _Maybe this isn't a dream…_Could a dream be this good, yet painfully heartbreaking at the same time? For moments, they stood there, quietly; the only sound was that of the dripping alcohol trickling down from the far wall.

Cloud pulled away, pained. "You're tired…I…should go…"

Tifa gasped, and desperately pulled him back in her arms. "_No_! Please, no! Stay…don't leave me…please!" She clutched urgently to his cold jacket.

He was shocked by her reaction. Cloud stroked her hair, and sighed. "I won't…not if you don't want me to…"

Tifa shook her head, more tears falling. But these were different. They were not as sad as the other tears…possibly, tears of a forgiving heart? "I don't want you to."

That was enough for Cloud. Those simple words brought a slight smile to his lips. Hearing her say that…hearing the forgiveness in her voice…He picked her up slowly, cradling her in his arms.

"Wha…what are you doing?" She mumbled lazily, almost incoherent.

"You need to sleep."

"No…" She gripped his jacket once again, looking up at him. "You'll leave again…"

Cloud shook his head. "I promise, I'll never leave you…I'll be here." For the first time tonight, Tifa was reassured by his words. It brought a smile to her lips.

"Tifa…" he said slowly. "I…have something to confess."

She looked up at him again, eyes already fluttering closed. "What?"

He continued stroking her hair. "There's a reason I left. I just didn't tell anyone."

Suddenly, she felt more awake. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

To her surprise, he gave a small chuckle. The sound was soft, reassuring as her head lay on his chest. "It seemed ridiculous at the time. Like I was overreacting."

She frowned. "And now…?"

He reached down to kiss her hair lightly. "Now I realize I was a fool to think that."

He took a deep breath. "It's hard to believe…after all I've done, all I've been through…people still want me around. I hated myself. But in three months, I finally figured it out."

Shifting slightly, he pulled something out of his pocket. "I needed to learn to accept myself if you could accept me."

Even in the dark, the ring glistened. Tifa was exhausted, but she still smiled weakly. "You know I always did."

* * *

…**Hmmm…**

**Well, I'm never going to revisit my old stories again! I wind up not liking them! Bah…I wonder how many over-a-year-old-and-incomplete stories I have in my laptop…**

**Anyways, please review! I want to know what you think!!**

**Ciao,**

**Lucy**


End file.
